To my Daughter, Don’t Ever be Me.March 23, 2018 | Leave your thoughts
To my daughter,
I’m not sure if it was the moment you first told me “no” or that moment during potty training when your naked bottom dug through all of your shoes and asked me to help you put on the red sparkly ones, but somewhere in between, I realized something about you. Heck, I realized something about me too. Although you look like your daddy, you act like the spitting image of your mama. And it scares me. You’re resilient. You’re defiant. You’re bold. You’re strong-willed. You don’t ever give up. No matter how frustrated you get that you can’t figure out how to unbuckle a strap, you keep working at it. Like everything you do. You’re a lover and you’re a fighter. You’re a warrior. You’re compassionate. You move forward in fearlessness. You love the mess out of your brother. Many days I think more than you love me. And listen, I’m okay with that. You are independent. You are full of life. You are full of love. You are you. Always, be you. Don’t ever be me. Always, be you.
As the weight of life will try to tear you down. As images all over the television and internet will try to convince you that you’re not enough. As boys will try to make you do things that you know you shouldn’t do. As friends will try to pressure you into trying things you shouldn’t try. As teachers may tell you, you’ll never be that engineer or architect or doctor that you aspire to be. As society tries to define you by what ethnicity you are. As other women try to pick you apart. As your heart gets broken. As people betray you. As people hurt you. As friends choose other friends over you. As you may get picked last for the team. As you win and as you lose. As you succeed and as you fail. As you struggle to believe even what I’m about to tell you here. As you fail your first college class. As you meet a boy and think he is the one, only to find out he is not. As you meet your future husband. As you become a mama yourself.
Whatever and wherever life takes you, don’t be me. Always, be you. You are brilliant. You are courageous. You are beautiful. You are kind. Be you. Be the friend that picks the other off of the floor. Be the friend that wipes away the tear. Be the friend that hugs. Be the sister that forgives. Be the sister that protects. Be the sister that laughs, often. Be the student that learns. Be the student that pushes forward against all odds to pursue whatever God calls you to. Be the first to do something. Be the last to do something. Be the first to forgive. Be the bigger person. Be the defender. Be the peacemaker. Be the life of the party. Be the chef. Be the event planner. Be the astronaut (ok maybe not this one…yikes). Be the engineer. Be the photographer. Be the developer. Be the encourager. Be the one who bridges gaps.
People will tell you, as they already do: “you’re just like your mama” and you are. But if there is one thing I can leave you with, my baby girl, don’t be me. God created you to be YOU. So, always, be you.
I love you. I’m for you. I see you.